30 Days of Praise … Day 10 – Battle Scars

Welcome to “30 Days of Praise!” Every once in a while I go into a month long journey of fasting, praying and praising. It helps me re-commit my life to Christ, keep my priorities in order, slow down from the craziness of everyday life and take time to really listen to what God wants to tell me. I am always amazed and excited where my journey takes me, and this time I will be journaling everyday and sharing my experiences with you.

Day 10~
Last night I was awake half the night. I don’t know why I have nights when I can’t sleep, but I do ocassionally deal with insomnia. On these nights I get very sentimental. I don’t know if it is because I am over tired, or if I am just hormonal, but they seem to go together. Anyway so I began thinking about this picture my friend took a couple weeks ago.

Although this is a good picture of me, it also makes me sad. It’s my eyes! My body looks healthy and nobody walking past me would ever know the things I have been through (you can read my story HEREif you haven’t already). But my eyes! I can see the affects of the medication I have been on over the years, I have that “doped out” look. But they also look weary and tired. It reminds me of all the battles I’ve had to face and all the things the devil has tried to rob from me. The worst including my fertility and the proper use of my bowels, but those are just a few. I could fill a book with the things that I have lost since my illness began. And for some reason this picture, those eyes, seem to be saying to me “I’ve been through some battles and won, but I did not come out without some battle scars”.

It makes me think of two things. The first is when Jesus healed the 10 lepers. When he healed them their disease was gone. It no longer ate away at their flesh and destroyed their bodies. They were not longer contagious and were now able to associate with society. They were left with their battle scars. The lepers may have been missing some fingers and toes. Their faces may have been eaten away. But the disease was gone and they would no longer suffer the pain. But one leper turned back and worshiped God. God restored his body to what it once was. His fingers and toes would have grown back. His face was not longer scared. He was made WHOLE! RESTORED!

Luke 17:12-19 “And as he entered into a certain village, there met him ten men that were lepers, which stood afar off.: And they lifted you their voices, and said ‘Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!’ And when he saw them, he said unto them, ‘Go show yourselves unto the priests’ and it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed. And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan. And Jesus answering siad, ‘Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine? There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger? And he said unto him, ‘Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made the whole.”

I do not want to remain like the nine that did not go back and worship God! They were healed, but they were not made whole. I want to be like the one that returned and worshiped God the minute he realized what God had done for him. I want to be made whole. And I believe that one day God is going to do just that! I’ve learned that his timing is never my timing and his ways are never the way I think they will be. But also I’ve learned that he is no respector of persons! If he did it for someone else, he can do it for me if I follow his word and remember to worship him! One day my “battle scars” will be gone. He promised to grow back my intestines and restore my body to it’s former glory! AMEN! I can’t wait for that day!! He promised to restore my womb and that I would conceive a son! AMEN! I can’t wait for that day either!! But it is not without conditions. I MUST remember to worship God and give him the glory for the things he has done in my life.

And that brings me to the second thing this picture reminds me of. I have learned to be a soldier of the Lord! Before I was sick I would never confront a soul! I was a pushover! I was afraid of confrontation! But through my sickness God has taught me to fight! I fought for my healing. I fought through pain. I fought to live when I should have died. I faced the enemy and stood my ground and would not let him rob the victory that God want’s me to have. So the “battle scars” that I carry also remind me that I am a warrior for Christ. I have faced the enemy, and I have come out victorious! I’m still standing! He did not rob my life! He did not rob my joy! He did not rob my faith! So although I may grieve for the things that have been lost, I also rejoice because they are only temporarily taken away until God restores them to me and makes me whole! And in the process I have been made a Champion for Christ! WOOO!! What a glorious testimony that is!

Job was found faithful to withstand the trials and persecution of the devil and in the end:

Job 42:12a “The Lord blessed the latter end of Job more then his beginning …”

My life is going to be like Job! I have withstood the trials and persecution of the devil and I will be blessed more then I can even imagine! God is always faithful to bless his children!

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